Today I came across my favorite teenage movie (and I was 13, I remember when it came out), Empire Records. If you haven’t seen it, you were deprived as a youth. Immediately- drop everything…and add it to your NetFlix queue.



It is the movie about young adults who work at a Indy record store. All the 90’s steretype characters are there (set against a rockin’ soundtrack- which I still own)- the slutty girl, the goodie- goodie, the suicidal rage-filled one, the brooding boy with a crush on the goodie- goodie, the criminal(s) and the goofball. I lapped it up and I still do. In fact, when my Comcast info blurb popped up in the bottom quadrant of my screen and I learned it had only earned one star, I wanted to begin a letter writing campaign. I am sure all my friends would be on board (so would any girl who was a teenager in the mid-90s, for that matter).



I remember thinking how fun and glamorous it would be to work in a store! The comradery, the celebrities stopping by (Rex Manning), the romantic entanglements…..I was chomping at the bit. A life in retail was definitely something I aspired to do, in my 13-year-old dream world where I also was dating Jonathan Taylor Thomas.



After working at The Secret for over 2 years, I have learned that working in a store in not quite that fun. It has its moments. For example, I happen to love 70% of the girls I work with. I say girls because with the exception of a trickling of gay cashiers and the odd stock boy- that is what we are. So the romantic entanglements are out the window.



We have a good ol time, but we don’t hang out with each other in the break room rubbing elbows with shoplifters and trying seduce Rex Manning…or any other celebrity that might stop by. [TANGENT: My personal hell would probably be hanging out with shoplifters considering most of them are 15 and have Dooney and Burke purses…I have nothing in common with that demo.] We make do gossiping over Chick-Fil-A and deciding whether we like or have massive hatred for the new lingerie that has just arrived.



We do however get slightly cooler celebrities. In the two years I have worked there, I have seen or talked to the following “celebrities” [I use the term with quotes, because depending on who you are, their celebrity status is up for debate. ]

- Sammy Kershaw and Lori Morgan

- Aaron Neville (not in the store, right outside, but close0

- MJ (from the Real World Philly)

- Brooke (from the Real World Denver)

- Kelli Pickler

- Carrie Underwood

- Bucky Covington (he was on American Idol)

- Miranda Lambert



Anyway- moral of the story time. My stint as being a retail diva is coming to an end in the next week (I start a new, “big girl” job next week and I will only return to VS a couple times a month). I am glad that I got to have my Empire Records experience. It was not quite as edgy and intriguing as I hoped it would be- but it like the movie, it was fun while it lasted.

Midnight Movies

I am just going to point out that sometimes I have trouble sleeping, and I turn to the 2 am movie on A&E, Bravo!, TCM or Comedy Central to ease me into pleasant dreams. Well most nights, it is a remote controlled toss-up between Twins (TANGENT: TWINS may be my favorite childhood film. Danny Devito and Arnold Swartzenaggar as unlikely siblings...How can comedy resist ensuing? Also, I cannot resist singing "TONIGHT IS YOUR NIGHT....BRO!") and sometimes showing on several channels simulataneously, Coming To America ("TO BE LOVED...TO BE LOVED...OH WHAT A FEELING...TO BE LOVED!!!!").

But 2 nights ago, my the luck of my remote, I came upon Interview with a Vampire, a movie that may have been tolerable by a 12 year old Kimmie in 1998, but is frankly unwatchable by a 23 year old Kimmie in 2006. It isn't so much that I have changed, it is more the way the media has shaped my perspective. In case you lived in a bomb shelter over the last 12 years, you know that the movie stars Brad Pitt (of Brangelina fame) and Tom Cruise (of recent TomKat fame) as two scallywag vampires with not-so- luxurious blonde hair. I just couldn't even watch without thinking eww...Cruise had his brain drained by Elrod Hubbard and planted his seed into an unwitting Dawson's Creek star (not Pacey...God NO!) and Pitt left the most gorgeous woman in the world to become engaged to a possibly incestual nympho. Who could have ever seen this coming? I buy into it as much as the next guy (Lets just call a spade a spade....in a given day, I could have watched E! News Daily, Access Hollywood, ET (Entertainment Tonight...for those in the know) and Extra!). I just feel bad that these people that were once gifted actors have gotten their careers forgotten because they temporarily (LET'S HOPE!) lost their path!

After not being able to focus on the Vampire film, I transfixed myself on PeeWee's Big Adventure (another childhood favorite that for some ungodly reason was on Bravo! Yep...your guess is as good as mine.) After seeing my favorite scene ("No silly...there's no basement in the Alamo!") I discovered that this movie really wasn't for children. Hell...I probobly didn't even know what the Alamo was when I was 8...but I laughed. The whole thing was really creepy from Large Marge to the weird funhouse part. In this case I don't think it wasn't my skewed perception of the actor playing PeeWee. (Thankfully no one took him too seriously in the first place.)

Anyway...Moral to the story time. I think it is hard to pinpoint your favorite anything. I am constantly changing my mind as I learn new things and expand my horizons. I mean clearly Twins is no longer my favorite movie.

Reactions and Retractions

Sometimes I cannot explain the way that I react to things, because I react differently than most sane thinking individuals. I let things build upon me until I cannot breathe or see clearly and am usually not too honest with myself about what I really want or what I really need. At this juncture I go off kilter and snap into full on bitch mode over things which are out of my control. It is much easier to blame these things for my hostility than those things which I could have easily fixed. See I told ya, I react like a crazy person.

Today my thing I blamed was our broken VCR. Twice this week it has made me miss things that I really desired to watch. I guess it was easier for me to yell at it or my Dad for not telling me it was broken then to face the facts that my own shortcomings (whether apathy or atropy) have been the reason for recent unhappiness. In both situations, I got hyped up to watch something then got home and they were not there waiting for me. I guess I got mad because I am a big believer in signs and metaphors and the fact was, the thing I looked forward to didn't really turn out as expected. I want something waiting for me when I get home. Something more then my dog or my parents, I want me own things!

I know I am being vague, but the venting is kind of important. I never retract my gut instincts because i know in theory regret is a wasted emotion, but do I believe it fully? NO! I regret tons of things. Usually waiting too long or not saying something I should. Nothing really mind blowing brought on this realization- it all just came because I missed American Idol today and Oprah's interview with Vince Vaughn last week.

I know you want it....American Idol Predictions!

Ok. It is no secret that I have been a die-hard American Idol [Sometimes even geekily refered to as A.I.] since its inception. It has been quite a task restraining myself from putting in my 2-3 cents on the contestants. But, people, it's getting down to the wire [TOP 6] so there is no time like the present to vent on who I think will make it! The following post will be my rundown on the contestants. If you know me at all, you will know that I am really a Taylor Hicks kinda gal, so I will start with him and go in their order of greatness!

1. Taylor Hicks- I love him. If I had cataracts and a slight astigmatism, I may regard him to be the poor man's George Clooney. I realize that he is probobly a whole lot older than he claims to be [29, my ass] but I love him! He has a Joe Cockery, Tom Waitsy kinda quality that makes him kinda marketable. I mean clearly he is never going to have the same fan base as previous American Idol winners, thus his appeal! I mean I have never bought a Rueben Studdard or a Fantasia album [although I did see her open for Kanye], but I will be first in line to buy his. I dig the not characteristically pleasing voices. I have one. I relate.

2. Elliot Yamin- I realize, once again, that he is not that attractive. In fact he has some jacked up teeth, but he can sing like no one's business. Although I realize that the industry is very image based, I think he has a chance. His renditions of Stevie Wonder really solidified it for me. My only drawback for Mr. Yamin is that he sometimes when he is singing his eyes seem to bulge out of his head like he is choking on something. It is nothing that a little coaching couldn't cure. He also made Paula cry, which leads me to believe that they are sleeping together and he is quite the heartbreaker. Score two more points for Mr. Yamin.

3. Katherine McPhee- I really do enjoy her. I think she has a gorgeous voice. It's not particularly a voice that I would buy an album for, but I would definitely see her on broadway. Her image may be a little too squeaky. She for some reason or another reminds me of the live-action version of Belle from Beauty and The Beast. Like it would not be uncharacteristic for her to break out into song and dance with an ottoman and a teapot. Just another day in the life of Miss McPhee. [TANGENT:I also think that the fact that they already have coined a slogan for her "Caught the McPheever" may prove to be a deathwish. Lest we forget the catchiness of "Ace is a winning hand." ]

4. Chris Daughtry- I think he will likely be in the top 2. He is very commercially pleasing, which is why he is not my favorite. He kinda sounds like every other Staind/
Nickelback/Hoobastank band that is out there. The bands that I really can't tell apart at this point. I give him points for his creative facial hair patterns [TANGENT: He went above and beyond the standard "flavor saver" or the "soul patch" to explore bold new avenues like the very chic wavy sideburn/ shaved head combo. I am not ashamed to say that I am a fan.] He is great at song choice which is why he has gotten this far!

5. Paris Bennett- I know this girl has a gorgeous voice, but i just cannot handle her. She is only 16 but bounces between adolescent schoolgirl and 40 year old diva all depending on which weave she has chosen to wear that day! She also knows she's great which is completely unnerving to me. [TANGENT: She reminds me of some people I have known in my time. The types that sing in full opera voice along to the car radio, and when you chime in completely try to drown you out. I don't think it is insecurity or jealousy, I think it is annoyance that makes me dislike this type of person.] She also acts like a complete moron everytime Ryan interviews her, which I attibute to her age. I don't think America in good conscious will allow a minor to win this competition.

Speaking of moron...

6. Kelly Pickler- I cannot tell a lie, I really liked her in the beginning. This girl is a producer's dream. She has the best sob story. Her mom ran out on her family, her dad is in prison and she has the cutest grandpa that has raised her in North Carolina all by himself and is always there with his little "Pick Pickler" shirt. [Once again...I think the adorable slogan could be the nail in the coffin.] Every week I just yell at the television, knowing her moronic comments ["whats a ballsy?"] are what is keeping her in. My only guess is country fans are keeping her in, but she doesn't have the stage presense to make it in that genre. Her dead eyes make it seem like someone roofied her before she stepped out on stage [I point the finger at Randy Jackson or a belligerant Bucky Cunningham!] This might explain the flat notes and seemingly moronic comments. I have been to North Carolina and I know they have school there.

Ok. So it seems that I am all sour grapes. I must say, I have no singing talent at all. I am just a loyal fan or trashy reality TV!

High Art vs. Low Art

Lately, I have been kinda into documentaries. Thanks to my parent's giving in and subscribing to on demand cable [TANGENT: my dad subscribes to this service yet still only watches CBS, CNN, and MSNBC. I think on the off chance that there is a good western on, he will fork over the extra cash a month] and the extra time on my hands, I basically have seen every documentary that tickles my fancy. I think I like them because I am so damn nosey!

Today I watched two. One was on IFC and it was about Chinese sweatshop workers that made Mardi Gras beads and the other [which I LOVED!] was called "My Date with Drew" and was about this guy who won $1,100 on the game show pilot for "Taboo" with the winning answer "Drew Barrymore." He had always had a crush on the star so he gave himself a 30 day deadline to meet her, taking the answer as a sign from God and the $1,100 as seed money for the documentary. I highly recommend it.

Anyway-- I digress, while I was watching it, I got really into it. Similarly to how I feel when I am watching a really good episode of "The Real World" or even "The Bachelor." I was trying to figure out why this documentary is given the pretentious, and kind of offputting title of "documentary," while the shows I like to watch are slapped with the title "reality tv" and not particularly taken seriously by anyone in the ritzy art community [TANGENT: I know this community fairly well. All through college I straddled the line as being an art kid. I never was able to turn in a pile of bent sticks smeared with guacamole and human hair and say in some way it dealt with all the injustice in the world. That is just not how I am. I get symbolism and I respect people's work, but my vision sometimes is just too mainstream. DAMN THE MEDIA!] . I started thinking about what my Survey of Popular Culture teacher Dr. Dunne taught us-- the difference between High Art and Low Art. The example I remember is the Mona Lisa is high art...while the mona lisa wearing sunglasses on a greeting card at Spencers would be low art.

I cannot be elitist. I have tried and frankly, its just not as much fun. I love sushi, but I also like sonic. I would have to say that this documentary satisfied both those cravings.

Miss Kendall!!!!

I quickly want to post pics of the cutest child on the face of the planet...and I am not just saying this, I really think she should be on the cover of some sort of baby food product. I posted pics of her in august when she was born and she is now 7 months old. She is the spawn of my friends' Florrie and Justin, and her name is miss Kendall Lexie. They are the two best handicapable teenage parents in the world. And I love them all, even though I think they would make a fantastic episode of Maury Povich!!!

Black. White.

I am all about some documentarys. I think its because I am so nosey and voyeuristic (I am the youngest child, after all). Anyway, I was really excited because last night I got to watch Black. White. on FX. It is produced by Ice Cube and it has two families (one black, one white) of equal status and income level switch places and races and be thrust into many situations to see how different it is to be in the others shoes.

I think this is a valid experiment. I am insanely interested in race relations and sociological differences. Before I went to college, I used to kind of think that people made too much fuss about the black people and white people being so different. Maybe its because my best friend as a child was black and she was way wealthier than my family could ever dream of being. I have since learned that it is ignorant to ignore the differences between black and white people. I mean lets face it, some situations are just gonna be different. I think it is necessary to just respect these diffferences.

I kinda wish that there could have been a documentary about my freshman and sophomore year in college where I was the lone white girl in an apartment of three strong black females. Coming from a graduationg class of 450 that had only 11 black people in it. It was an awakening. I almost miss knowing all the rap songs way before they came on the radio (after all...I taught all my friends what "air force ones" were and the "remix to ignition" was old school to me by the time it started coming on The Party!) and reading Essence and Black Hair Magazine on the toilet.

I would like to think that I taught them something too. Maybe even if it was just that white people couldn't so easily be pigeon-holed (for example, I can throw down on some collards and black-eyed-peas and have been since I was since I was born!)

Thats why I never understand when I am watching the Real World, and there is always that one bitchy individual that is like "I am sooooo isolated!!!!!!!!!!!! waaa wahhh!!! bitch, bitch, bitch"....etc. Just deal with it. Have fun. Go to a Step Show for the historically black fraternities and sororities! Its kinda fun...after you get used to the fact that you may be one of the only white people there.

Sorry...I really don't think any of that was all that coherant. But, I promise...it made sense to me! I guess the lesson is, befriend a black person, you'll be glad you did!

I LOVE DORKS.

The above is true. I have a shirt that says it. I wear it and am not ashamed (even though I am pretty sure I am the only girl that wears that shirt that does not also wear a training bra and a retainer.)

I realized this was really the case when I went to go see Failure To Launch last night with my gay date, John. There is a scene in the movie where Matthew McCaughnahey and his two friends are shirtless and sitting on surfboards in the middle of the ocean. I don't need to state the obvious that Matthew McCaughahey, whose character is a sailing enthusiast, is gorgeous and has a hot bod...and that his friend (who also played the dick boyfriend to Rachel McAdams in Wedding Crashers) is a pretty fine piece as well, bearing the mystique of being one of those outdoorsy chacco sandal wearing guys who always has a nalgene bottle on hand.

I must also mention that the third boy in questions has shaggy hair, a kind of goofy expression and is wearing zinc oxide sunscreen on his nose and a life jacket. His backstory is that he is an internet genius who never gets laid. Guess who I think is the most attractive??? Yep....the dork. [TANGENT:I conveniently left out that I think he was the retarded guy pictured above in Gigli....I don't know if that makes me case better or worse. Potentially worse, because I admitted that I saw Gigli and that I thought the mentally challenged guy was the hottest character.]

Exhibit B (okay the guy who played the retarded kid was exhibit A): I just got finished watching Grey's Anatomy. The show has a character whose nickname is Dr. McDreamy, yet I tend to go for George, who is inherently pathetic, lusting after Meridith for almost 2 seasons before he made his move. He also has the goofy look and shaggy hair (at least until today's episode) that seems to do it for me. What is wrong with me?