"Cause losin everything is like YOUR SON going down on me!!!"

So last night I took my mom and sister to the Elton John concert at Gaylord....I was definitely in the minority being that I am not a crazy middle aged woman or a gay man. There were also sparce other minorities like young couples and children, who knew that ol' EJ was big with the youngsters?....maybe it was the lion king crowd. Because I was not willing to pay $85 a ticket, we were stuck in the cheap seats, which were actually not too bad except like at all concerts we had to sit by the two biggest douchebags in the whole concert [TANGENT: why does this always happen? It seems no matter how many concerts I go to I always end up sitting by some annoying individuals. It was like when we saw Counting Crowes and John Mayer in Kansas City and that drunken woman tried to slow dance with me to "your body is a wonderland"...later redeeming herself by giving me her beer...which I threw up later.] It seems we also got to see some good cheap seats action like a brawl in the section next to us which led to beer being poured all over the row down from us and an irate usher having to lay down the law. Also there was a mulleted couple who seemed to explode if Elton did not do a second encore. Thank God he did, otherwise it could have gotten messy. The following is a synopsis of the concert:

So we arrived late to the concert because traffic was a bitch on broadway but got there and only missed a couple songs...."goodbye yellow brick road" and some new song which I could hear while we were searching for our seats [TANGENT: in the elevator, some nice old black man offered me back stage access but the smell of alchohol on his breath and the absense of teeth in his mouth told me he was not "in with elton" I have also learned from the barenaked ladies debacle of 99 that its not so easy to get backstage] I at first was getting disappointed because I didn't know any of the songs he was singing...I am the kind of fan that likes to sing a long. Oh! I almost forgot to explain Elton's outfit, It was a pink tunic/dress of sorts over black pants and a black tux jacket with tails that had white spots strewn all over that resembled pigeon shit. [TANGENT: I swear Elton John could come out in crotchless panties and a dead seagull on his head and everyone would be like : "oh elton, you are incorrigible!"] but eventually the "bitch was back" [pun intended] and he started songs that I could get behind...daniel... leavon...tiny dancer (which now serves as my default cell phone ring). However, during a freakishly good tribute to Ray Charles, one of the tools next to us started asking if Jaimie Fox was going to join him onstage. I just had to shake my head...you only get that in the cheap seats.