Its raining boredom and body dismorphic disorder

I just came home from eating steak at outback followed by a delicious 59 cent vanilla cone from McDonalds (those things are sometimes better than the $6 dishes at coldstone or Marble Slab). It was a last minute outting with John. I haven't seen him in ages and its hard to go from seeing someone daily to only once in a while. He was the first person I met at MTSU bc he was my Ra and checked me into my apt. It had been awhile since someone had called me 'shannon.' [TANGENT: Shannon was another smaller brunette girl in a chair who wore lisa loebish glasses sometimes....anyway the similarities ended there bc she was a really good singer and did so in many campus musicals. She played the matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof and for a solid 6 months afterward people were telling ME how great I was in the musical. Little do they know that one of my vocal cords is paralyzed and I can't sing for shit. anyway John thought all this was quite amusing so to perpetuate this comfusion, he called me shannon loudly, usually when a crowd was present and still does to this day!] I miss my johnny!

I was hoping to get a tan and read my new book that is written from an autistic boy's perspective about the murder of a neighbor's pooodle (ITS A COMEDY!!) , BUT it started to rain so I had to lay in bed instead and listen to the rain...i love laying in bed when its raining! But because it rained, I still lack sun and feel pale. I am vehemently against tanning beds bc I think they are like a gateway drug to other things that I stand against like louie vuitton purses and ugg boots! I guess I will just have to stick to my Jergens natural glow lotion which is doing nothing but tinging my bra a lovely shade of orange, but psychologically it is doing wonders. I only wish I was had all the puerto rican-ness like my sister (not that we have any hispanics in our gene pool.) but she for some reason looks samoan/Indian/south american/ethnically ambiguous while I look like a pasty mess!

Contrary to the above sentence, I have really high self esteem (probobly too much) so I am always baffled by people that have none. Like yesterday on Oprah (yes it always comes back to Oprah) there were these people who had body dismorphic disorder which makes them addicted to plastic surgery to the point where they look like a Bratz doll [TANGENT: what happened to good old barbies, why are all dolls horriby slutty nowadays..they all have ho eyeliner and overlined lips and come with accessories liek fuck me boots and mini skirts (and as an former avid barbie enthusiast, most of them are panty-less!)] anyway this one girl had not had any surgery and was really pretty, looked kind of like Eva Longoria, and she said that she felt so hideous that she had to have the mirrors removed in her house! Maybe it is this fear of body dismorphic disroder that causes me to steer away from some things that seem vain like fake and bakes and name brands...or maybe its cause I have no money. jury is still out...